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单词拼写很棒，可考虑增加学术词汇的使用量；可适当增加从句的使用；文章结构不错，使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词。
There is a thought-provoking saying that it is unwise to put all eggs in one basket, what it means is that if the only basket break down, then you will lost all of your eggs.To say it in another way, everyone should never put all of his harvest together, it will add the risk of losing them all in a minute. When we are living in this society for a long time, we all have earned much valuable things of our lives. The money, the stock, the poverty ,the friends and even love. All these fantastic things make us feel happy and confident. Nonetheless, we should better save these things in different ways instead of betting them together.For instance, when you fall in love with someone, the first moment you want to do maybe is putting all of your poverty on her. She becomes your whole world and you don't care about anything except her. It will be much dangerous when you find that she doesn't love you anymore or you are throwed away by saying no words. At that time, you will lose anything in your life, not only love, but also the money that was belong to you and the confidence ever in your heart. After all, I am concerned that no matter how old you are, you should take care of yourself and the poverty belonging to you. it is better to cut your care into different sections so that when one of them break down, then you will also have the other things.
