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可适当增加从句的使用，注意文中的一些小错误；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用；词汇表达较丰富，学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间，文中有些单词拼错了。
China is a populous county with a long history.She not only created old civilization,but also made great contribution to human beings. As for me ,Jiangmen ,in the Guangdong province ,the beautiful city among lots of cities in China.Though it just a small city,I was attracted deeply by its characterisitic.A charming city that I born in is not like some prosperous cities,such as Beijing and Shanghai,it has its personal glamour .Qi lou is the local feature ,which can data back to the Republican period.The local people still provide them from distorying by business.It lead to Qi lou stand among the modern architecture,which came into being a special view. A city with special architecture ,decilious food and the kindness people.I can't help loving it from the bottom of my heart.
