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字数:300 满分:100分
请作者增加学术词汇的使用,单词拼写做的很好;作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词。
Deep Love At the front of the prison gate, a girl was looking at it being closed gradually, and his father also was fading away from her sight. Her heart was extremely struggling. She made an attempt to tell the truth to the judge, but she recalled her father’s warning that she had to go on life alone bravely and forgot everything happened in that night, so she paused. The memory was still fresh in her mind, which her fate was changed drastically on that night. She lost her father. From then on, she became an orphan. Several months ago it was a dark evening with continuous drizzling. The girl stayed alone in her room quietly, while suddenly the door was opened. A woman and a man both came in, and they seemed be discussing something. The girl was so wondered who they were that she came out from her room and listened to their dialogue secretly. To her surprise, the woman was her mother, but she never saw the man. She hid herself in the corner and discovered that her mother tended to divorce her father because of the man. The girl was exceedingly sad, and was not intensely willing to believe her ear. Since the woman came to her home, she never felt happy. The girl hated her; in her eyes, she just has one mother who was her biological mother. What’s more, the stepmother also never gave warm to her, she couldn't get well with her. At night, her father returned. She told all things that she had heard to her father. Her father came back to his room, and had a talk with his wife. For a while, the door was opened suddenly, her father and her stepmother were quarrelling in their room. The girl gawked at them, and picked up a parting knife unconsciously, because she wanted to protect her father. Their quarrel was more and more intense. As her stepmother attempted to beat her father, the girl rushed up, and the knife was unexpectedly inserted into the chest of her stepmother. Her mother fell down immediately with uncontrolled bleeding. Then the girl was frightened. Her hands trembled and her face turned pale instantly. She thrown out the knife in a hurry. and her father clung on to the girl in order to make her calm down.. She didn't do it on purpose. Her father stood up, and picked up the knife. After thinking for a minute, he took him cell phone to put through the police station. He said to the police, “someone was murdered here.” After that, he told her daughter, “If the police asked you whom killed your mother, you must say that I did it. Honey, Dad couldn't accompany you anymore, you need to go on the life alone bravely, and forget anything happened tonight.” Soon the police came, they took away her father. The girl recovered from her surprise, and cried loudly and helplessly. After several months, her father was sentenced to forty years in the prison. Before she ever had hovered around the outside police several times, and determined to tell the truth to the police. Nevertheless it’s too late, her impulse-driven action ruined her family. Now, she understood everything, and became increasingly strong. Later, she needs to be confronted with various difficulties by herself that she will meet in the future. Right now, she learned a lesson that she will never do such foolish things forever