新东方托福高分作文:如何是你的家乡变得更吸引人?

文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活，希望能更熟练地使用学术词汇恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词，衔接手法做的很棒；文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用。

My hometown is a big city in the middle of China,Wuhan.There are a lot of famous universities and plenty of large companies which means a perfect city for the young people who are ambitious.Thus Result of the economic developing,more and more industries rolling in,our environment become more and more worse. Above all mentioned,I 'd like to change the air,the water and the street cleaning for my hometown in order to make it more appealing to teenagers.First of all,I recommend that to use the clean energy replacing fuel such as solar,wind or river and so on.What's more,some policies should be published to reduce the use of family automobiles.For example,to award someone who choose public bus or train everyday. There are amounts of work should be done to improve my hometown.In my opinion,we should pay fully attention on protecting our environment.