文章结构不错,使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词;作者应适量增加从句的使用量;文中拼写错误比较多,用词也稍显贫乏;请注意分段。
my hometown ningde where is a beautiful places. if you come to there,i will take you to some scenic spots,for example,sandouao 、mountain baiyue and so on,the two scenic spots are worth for you to visit.firstly, you will like sandouao if you like the rive,secondly,mountain baiyue is a best place for you to see sunrise,though,there is so cold. if you come my hometown you will fing more funny,and you must be like my hometown.