新东方托福高分作文:如何是你的家乡变得更吸引人?

拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；作者有一定功底，可在平时练习中增加长难句的记忆；文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词，结构比较严谨；请注意分段。

My hometown is a big city in the middle of China,Wuhan.There are a lot of famous universities and plenty of large companies which means a perfect city for the young people who are ambitious.Thus Result of the economic development,more and more industries rolling in,our environment becomes worse and worse. Above all mentioned,I 'd like to change the air,the water and the street cleaning for my hometown in order to make it more appealing to teenagers.First of all,I recommend that to use the clean energy replacing fuel such as solar,wind or river and so on.What's more,some policies should be published to reduce the use of personal automobiles.For example,to award someone who chooses public bus or train every day. There are amounts of work what should be done to make our hometown to be better and better.In my opinion,we should pay fully attention on protecting our environment.