1. 描述事情经过;
2. 谈谈你的感想。
文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Last Saturday, some of my classmates and I went to the Qiandao lake for some refreshment. Suddenly I noticed an old dustman collecting rubbish thrown about by the visitors. He was apparently having great difficulty collecting some small items, especially cigarette butts. An idea struck me. Why not help him collect litter? Much to my joy, all my classmates agreed and were willing to help. So we worked hard together with the dustman and collected lots of rubbish. Then we parted and waved farewell to the thankful dustman. Dog-tired as I was, I felt really happy. As the saying goes, helping hands are more sacred than praying lips. I truly believe we’d have a more harmonious society if everybody took action. What a fine deed!