作者能较灵活准确地使用词汇表达,但学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间;文中一些从句的使用为文章增色;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨;请注意分段。
When I was a little boy, I dreamt nothing. Maybe,being a happiness boy is my unique pursue at that time.When I grow up and left home to go to study in a college,400 kilometers away from my hometown Huangshan (Huizhou,her used name which sustained more than 800 hundreds), I started to realize I come from a great place where created a glorious history in the ancient dynasty,a place where created hui merchants,hui culture,hui cuisine and so on.Now her name is Huangshan,a famous tourist city because of Mount Huang.But a sad truth placed in front of the people of Huizhou is that compared with her history this area is lost in the contemporary age.From the internet I got acquainted with so many people who are so pride of our history and making determination to revive our great history. I was shocked and realized I also should do something to contribute our hometown,and the thought becomes one of my objectives since then . When I was graduated ,I conceift my dream and started my job,than I found that the dream is very plump,reality very bone.So I made a decision that go back to campus to have a further study.