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If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
文中词汇表达灵活多样，也能较好的使用部分学术词汇；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错。
No matter who we are,where we are,or what we do,all of us try to achieve success in our career.Success could bring people the money,status,wealth and brilliant future.However,someone finally accomplishs his goal while another fails. Why? And how could we take a short cut to success? In my opinion,I deem the way to succeed could be divided into four parts as follows.In the first place,a strong heart that could resist enormous pressure is necessary,just as the proverb goes,"Failure is the mother of success".Secondly,diligence plays a key role in the way to success.Besides,a good relationship with your friends or partners could make it much easier.They could try their efforts to help you when you are in trouble.Last but not least,maybe opportunity will also be a dominant element in your way to success. In a word,“Rome was not built in a day”.We must try our efforts to enrich our knowledge,widen the vision,Finally,all of us will find the right way to success.
