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作者学术词汇使用比较准确，词汇表达较丰富，但仍需增加词汇积累；文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词，结构比较严谨；若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更不错。
Currently the public has paid great attention to the debate concerning whether it is important or not to have extracurricular activities in the university.. Taking all the favorable and unfavorable aspects into account, I stand firmly on the side that we can benefit from extracurricular activities. This point of perspective, I believe, shared by the largest proportion of the public, can be explained in the following tangible reasons. Firstly, communication is unquestionably regarded as an extremely important element in our society.Though extracurricular activities we can make a good progress of our communication skills which is good for our future job-hutting. Secondly, it is well acknowledged that not only we can learn a lot from extracurricular activities but also colorful our university life.A period of four years College life should be varied and colorful.For example,we can use our plenty of sparetime to do something meanful. From what have mentioned above, we can come to the conclusion that extracurricular activities can do us some good which is also having a greater impact on our college life.
