语句间的衔接成分用的不错,同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富;多多加强句法知识;作者词汇表达不够多样,希望能多使用学术词汇;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Dear President: This letter is about canten service on campus,I have some suggestions for you,Firstly,I think the price of foods is too expensive,Even the kinds of food are less,Secondly,The environment of canteen is so good,But something should be improved,At last,The canteen service is a little bad,Because on campus,People should be polite,And offer a good service for us,I hope you could hear our voice. LiMing
人气:45发布:2013-12-15
人气:51发布:2016-12-15
人气:41发布:2015-11-06