衔接成分偏少;简单句偏多,应增加从句使用;作者词汇量有些小,要注意检查拼写错误;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Mr. wang is my new teacher,he teaches us chemistry.His hair is black,he is very tall.He has a beautiful voice ,all the students like him very much.He lives very far from the school ,so he must get up early in the moring.He always late for school.His wife takes care of their child.