句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累;文中词汇表达多样性不足,学术词汇使用不够准确,拼写错误稍多;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Our school is very famous school , it is locate at the Guangzhou. they are 24 classes , total students number over eight hurdreds. it is a famous primary school . All for students is the school feature. When you come into the school , you can see many chirdren is playing game ,some studens enjoy the football sport .There are a little pool in the centrel of school building .