若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;作者词汇量偏少,还要认真检查拼写;连接词过少,建议增加衔接词汇的积累;请注意分段;连词使用偏少;可以适当增加副词的使用。
Our school is extremly famous school , it locate at the Guangzhou. they are 24 classes ,it has eight hurdreds students in sum. it is a famous . All for students is the school feature. You can see many chirdren is playing game When you come into the school ,and some studens enjoy the football sport .A little pool is in the centrel of school building .