文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;如若增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
In recent years shopping online become more and more popular,even it has becomes fashionable. Some people suppose that it is not a good thing.If we are shopping online we don't know how it is really like.We maybe cheated. Furthermore the service is very inconvenient. Nevertheless others people have some different opinions.They can't agree with it any more.They think it is more convenient for us,we needn't go out and can buy so many things which we want.In addition shopping online is much cheaper than go into the store. As far as I am concerned I agree with the second opinion.After all, in my view, shopping online its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.Now it is Internet time,shopping online can save more time for us.Of course we can ignore the dangerous,but I believe the law of shopping online will become perfect in future. Thus enjoy it we will be happy.