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文中单词拼写做的很棒，再多积累些词汇就更好了；正确句子比例较高，适当增加复杂句的使用，文章会更出色；层次欠清晰，衔接成分很少；请注意分段；可以适当增加副词的使用。
i saw an old man and his grandson who was about 10 years old. the old man took a bag and a violin. i stood up, and asked the old man to take my seat. but the old man's grandson occupied the seat. the old man had to stand beside him. after a while, the boy shouted his grandpa to ask for water. after drinking water, he threw the empty bottle on the bus. i can't bear what the boy did. he should respect his grandpa, and take care of him. as a passenger, he behaved badly. every passenger ought to keep the bus clean. i think the boy was very rude.
