作者能较灵活地使用词汇表达,但要多积累学术词汇;如若增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;请注意分段。
when we mentions Tv most of us will reminds of games and tv shows which waste so much time.so our parents ask us not to watch tv every day in order to control our part time.but as i am concerned,tv is essential for ou life. firstly,it not only help us though the rest time when we are boring or have a sad mood.but aslo it helps our family atmosphere getting more active.if there is no tv,students will go outside and don not go home on time .we cant get information in time.想不起啥好处了