作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇,建议要多使用学术词汇;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;请注意分段。
Nowadays most of the people who live in the big city have become been more and more interested in shopping online. As my opinion, the advantage of shopping online is very environment, that is useful for the people who do not have free time shopping. And you have a choice the same product from various shops. On the other hand, you can buy some unusual stuff which is you never see it. That is amazing. Some people are willing to shop online because they find most of the stuff is cheaper than shops. But one of my friends have told me that you could not find the difference between genuine articles and fake articles. And it is hard to return to the stop if you do not like the stuff from it. To sum up, I prefer to shop online. You will have a nice shopping if you have some experinces to buy online.