拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;如若增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;文章层次不够分明,缺少组织,需注意文章整体的组织结构;请注意分段。
Dear schoolmates, While we are sitting in our bright classroom, remember there are lots of children in the poor and disaster areas needing our help badly. Summer vacation is coming. Let’s do something to help them. As students, now,we live in a beautiful earth.But there are many people living in a poor environment.So I think we should do something for this case.I think we can volunteer to have a party in a old people's home,there are many lonely people here,after that they will feel better and become happy.We can give something which we don't use anymore. Student’s Union
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