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作者能较灵活准确地使用词汇表达，更能较熟练地使用一定的学术词汇；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用；采用了一些简单的从句。
As we all known,it's unwise to put all eggs in one basket.Because finally we could mostly to face failure. Like students,we shouldn't only focus on study ignore other aspects.Of course,in order to graduation rates,teacher and parents will tell you contraction on study careless of like activity,exercise so on.In additon,parents even go to school to help their children to wash weather .In totally,it's important to improve their chirdren's grade.But it's against students about the development of future.Because in this way to teach students could lead to lack of ability in some aspects.While they leave their parents,their life cannot provide for oneself seriously. As far as I'm concerned,we should study hard as well as master life skill.Only in this way,can we become a well-rounded individuals.
