文中词汇表达多样性不足,在学术词汇方面尤其要多积累;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;文章层次不够分明,缺少组织,需注意文章整体的组织结构;请注意分段。
I have a good friend whose name is Lily.She is a beautiful girl who has a long black hair,two big black eyes and a red mouth.What's more,she is good at singing for her good voice. Meanwhile,she is a clever and nice girl.In her rest time,she likes reading books,playing computer and chess.When her friends have some problems in homework,she often helps them in pleasure.We all like her very much.