文中衔接词和过渡词使用的很棒;能够很好的使用长难句且句法很棒;拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;请注意分段。
I am from Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, so I am greatly convinced that, if my foreign friend is going to my hometown, the first place I will show them is the Chinese traditional parks. They are built between the Ming and Qing Dynasty, by those who were rich and well-educated. Because Suzhou was the culture centre of China at that time, each place in those parks contain the wisdom of builders, even the conventional Chinese culture. So, even more than 400 years later than when they were built, the parks are still well-known all over the world, attracting thousands of tourists every year. By show my friends around the parks, they can know more about China.