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可适当增加从句的使用；文章用了较为丰富的词汇，学术词汇略显单薄，同时注意单词拼写的检查；文章上下文衔接不是很紧凑，结构缺少组织；请注意分段。
Jane is one of my foreigh friend from engliand.she is a big chinese fan,And recently she has a plan to have a travel in china.she want me to introduce some fantastic places to her.I think there really many interesting places in china.like beijing city,yunan province and so on.but xi'an city is my favority place.because the first dynasty 'Qin dynasty' derive from xi'an.and it's a famous culture old city.there are many ancients places there.the most popular is terra-cotta warrior.and there are many tasty food there .people there is very kindful and enthusiastic.I'm very sure that jane will like that.I think jane couldn't help it to travel in xi'an
