能够运用简单的从句,但不熟练;有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分;作者能词汇表达较准确熟练,但请仔细检查词汇的拼写;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
about six years ago , i left my colleage for my first job , the first day i went to my company i got a HR trainning , and all of the new coming stuf were got a cup , a pen ,a note book, and also a book named "the wold is flatness". why my companly want all of us to read this book : finally we got the notice from our boos , terry Guo. the book introduced the wold trade and comunication is getting more and more convenient , and every one can get in tocuch with each other very easily . so thats tells us we need to get in touch with people all from the wold . and we need competation with people for the wold .