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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；可适当增加文中长句和复杂句的使用；有效地使用了语句间的衔接成分；请注意分段。
dear Mary : i am so glad to know you are going to arrive my hometown Maoming city guangdong province .i extremely hope you will have a good holiday in my country.so i introduce you a best place you go to spend your time.the place ,i suggest ,have blue sky and clean seawater,which is called The first beach in China.The biggest reason i introduce the beach to you is that it has beautiful views and pleasure weather.Absolutely,you will like the place not only the beautiful sight but also the warmhearted people there and its customs.you are welcomed whenever you go and whatever you do and you will receive people's enthusiastic response.finally,i hope you enjoy you time in my hometown and when you come here please tell me so that i can take you to my home.
