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文章词汇表达丰富，学术词汇积累做的也很棒；如若适当增加一些从句的使用，文章会取得更好的成绩；全文结构较为严谨，应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
With the economic development of modern society,tourism has become a booming business in China.And the improvement of vehicle make the tourism convenient and comfortable than before.Therefore, little by little，holiday tour becomes the first choice of large quantities of Chinese. At the same time,the environmental pollution caused by tourism have attracted many people's attentions.The traffic jam has become one of the most important issue of tourist spots.And all kinds of vehicles would have a negative effect on air quality,Furthermore, the crowded people in tourists spots will produce a mountain of garbages everyday. However,others hold the opposite attitude that tourism has a contribution to local economic development.The government could make use of this revenue to improve citizen's environment of lives and work.On the other hand,it will also improve the influence of the city in China.And eventually more and more investments will be attracted so that it is possible to increase much more employment opportunities for the local young people. In my opinion,I deem the advantages of tourism are outweigh the disadvantages of it.With the effective measures taken,we could protect the environment from pollution.And at the same time,it would promote the development of urban tourism.
