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文中词汇使用灵活，可是在学术词汇的积累上还要再接再厉；有效地采用了多种衔接方法，层次清晰；文中一些从句的使用为文章增色。
Nowadays, people usually work harder and harder to achieve their goals, so there is springing up a sound that if one is working hard enough, he can get success, even if without luck. In my opinion, I disagree with this view for the following reasons. First of all, players need luck to win the game. The results of sports are often hard to predict, even the worst team or player may beat the best ones. Based on the unpredicted changes, the sports become so attractive and popular. Admittedly, to win the game need some talent and hard work, but, obviously, only hard working is not enough to win, and it also needs some good luck. Taking the NBA finals this year as example, Miami Heat own many good players, and they really practise hardly to win the back to back championship. While, their rival, the Spurs also played several good games in the finals, and they led Miami 3-2 in the finals, and even though in the game 6,they led Miami 5 points in the last 30 seconds. When everyone believed that the Spurs would win this champion, Miami created the miracle, Ray Allen Threw in the important three points in the 5 seconds to the end of the game. Because of this shoot, they tied the score, and finally the Miami won the champion again. If the shoot from Ray did not scored, everything would be changed, their hard working perhaps earn nothing. Even Ray Allen himself confessed that he was lucky enough to score the three points. On the other hand, businessmen also need good luck. The business field is changing day by day, even the smartest person can not calculate what will happen next. What they should do are just analysize the trend as exactly as they can, and hope the trend will develop as they expect. As a result, many successful businessmen failed before. Such as Li Xiaohui, one of the most wealthy businessman in china, lost all of his wealth when he was 30 years old. He worked very hard that sometimes he even do not sleep for more than 3 days, furthermore, he is clever as well. But there was an earthquake happened near his factories without any syptom, so he lost everything. All in all, even hard working may help someone to be success, but sometimes good luck is also an eccential aspect, especially some occupations as above.
