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句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；词汇表达较灵活准确，学术词汇使用过少，另外注意文中个别的拼写错误；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Shanghai is a beautiful city in eastern China. Huangpu river goes across the city from southwestern to northeastern, and the city is divided to two parts, called Puxi and PuDong respectively. There are many beautiful buildings, especially beside the river. Everyone who comes to Shanghai would be atracted by the beautiful sights around WaiTan at the middle of the reiver. Once in the afternoon, all the buildings beside the river are light brightly, with a colorfull appearance. How fascinated it is. It is very convenience to live in SHanghai. You can go everywhere of the city easily by bus or by subway. there are four railway stations, and many trains go out from Shanghai and many trains come in every day, well you are free to visit other cities from Shanghai easily, of course you can easily come to Shanghai.
