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文章词汇表达丰富，学术词汇积累做的也很棒；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；请注意分段。
As is saying goes:"It is unwise to put all your eggs in one basket."Sample as it is,it subtly reveals a throught-provoking and enlightening message that we can not focus on one aspects,ignoring another indispensable part in the issue. There are several reasons for this issue,and I would like to explore some primary ones.Firstly,we have large opportunity to meet difficult and trouble,in which case we may be defeated if we have only plan.For instance,if we invest one financial product,we will reinforce the dangerous rate and lost money.Additionally,with the fully armed and well-prepare,we can deal with accident in a appropriate way.Two-hand prepartion make us easily achieve our expectation.A good case in this point is one of the rich who named Li Jiacheng.When it comes to his success,he said:"I always have plan B to reduce the dangerous." From my perspective,we should pay attention to the fully prepared.Only when we are strong and intelligent enough can we soar with the dream.
