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衔接词和过渡词用的很不错；可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用；文章用了较为丰富的词汇，学术词汇略显单薄，同时注意单词拼写的检查。
If my friend come to China,I think I will bring him to Beijing as we first trival place. The reason why I choose it just have these reasons. First of all,the beautiful city has many unbelievely place to go.For instance,The Great Wall.besides,Beijing also has more modern buildings.Like the Bird`s Nest and so on. second,as the capital of China,which consist of many well-konwn colleges and the largest labor in there.As a well-known city,there not only has the ancient buildings but also has develoding face to show us. The last,and its my favoritsreason,the food,more and more delicious food.Beijing Rost Duck,and so on that`s also a abundant experiance of us.
