作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;作者词汇表达丰富度较高,就是学术词汇用的太少;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
My hometown is Laocheng which is famous for a lake,named Dongchang lake.There is no doubt that I surely take my friend to this beautiful place to relax ourselfives.Some reasons as follows to account for this pact. First of all,there is a big lake surrounded a lot of trees .It is so tender and mild like a beautiful girl.Her water is so clean that we can see many different fishes driving.Needless to see,the shy is blue without dirty.Fresh air, clean water,all of them are precious for morton society.Last but not least,we can meet lots of interesting people.Some old people may dance at a place with music while young people may fly kit or play game. I strongly think that we will have a good time at Dongchang lake.