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作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇，建议要多使用学术词汇；恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词，衔接手法做的很棒；适当增加一些从句的使用，会为文章添彩；请注意分段；可以适当增加副词的使用。
Some people puts that financial disparity affects friendship.Well,in my opinion, this point of view can be true in some rare occasions ,but which has been proved wrong in most occasions. As we all know, not everything in life ,such as friendship ,can be measured or boughby money.One will get permanent friendship by helping his friend who is in trouble.
