字数:200满分:100分
有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;可适当增加几条从句;请作者多积累学术词汇,另外要注意单词拼写的检查。
As is decribed in the picture,a man spended three hundreds on a haricut that is same with football star Beckham.What is conveyed in the picture is most meaningful and provokes us blindly follow suit. With the accelerating pace of modern life,many peole especially young people have the tendence to worship stars.There have many factors contributed to this phenomenon.Firstly,this celebrities have many opportunities act on the screen,such as Bekham and Jack Chen,because thier perfect show and widesome looks attact many people and become in their fans.Secondly,a man imitated into the celebrity who he love can attract many pelple,so they get many attentions from other people,may be they think this as a success. In my point of viewit is avilable that has a celebrity who we admire,but it must be controled in a rage,we should not spend a lot of moeny and energy on worshipping star blindly.