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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；熟练使用了一些长难句；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用。
Recently the issue of the phenomenon of spending too much time in playing mobile phone has been brought into focus. It is really common that you would see people great in number on the street only focus eyes on their phone. In my opinion, it is a way on wasting the most important time of your life. It must be the most long distance in this world that you just sit beside me and your heart is far away from me, but on that cold machine. You shouldn't waste such an wonderful time but should use it in the other meaningful thing.Such as taking a foot steps to come ture you dream, telling someone you have liked for several years, and taking up a book dreaming to read for a long time. All in all, you should stay away from you cellphone, and focus on your life which should be choked with different people or things.
