文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足;句式变化较为明显,可适当增加从句的使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
As we all know, human's life is short. If you waste time all day, you will get nothing but regret in the end of your life. So it's important to make full use of our life. But the question is, how should we make good use of our finite time? It seems to be a difficult question, but in fact, we all know how to do. Everyone has his desire and knows that he should try to achieve his goal, then life can be meaningful as well as exciting. A goal is like a star in a dark night that guides you to go ahead in life. For example, many great men had their dreams deep in mind in their childhood, and later they worked very hard to achieve it. Finally, to their relief, their efforts paid off. Not only did they realize their dreams, but also their life became more beautiful owing to their hard-working and great achievements. Beside, to make best use of life is not to live longer but make life more worthwhile. As the old Chinese saying goes, "People all have to die, but some's life is greater than Tai mountain, while others's life are lighter than feather." So it is wise to do things that are valuable to outlast your life. In my opinion, we should enjoy our life as well as chrish it and make it wonderful. For myself, I have my dream, and I will try my best to achieve it. Of course, I hope my effort can bring people as well as me happy, hopeful and wonderful life.