可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用;文中用词稍显贫乏,另外请注意单词拼写的检查;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
My favorite sport is playing football. I'm into it by chance. when i went home, i picked up with a football, and played with my friends, and then I fall in love with playing football. I often train and play with my classmates, we are all have fun with it. And my favorite football player is Bhm , and my best wish is to be a proffessional football player in the future, hope it can come ture one day.