文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;结构不严谨,几乎没有使用衔接词,上下文衔接欠流畅。
To some children,everything is ok.Because their parents has done well everything.Their parents give them the best lives,so children don't worry about their future. But, are you think about it? It is beneficial to children? In my opinion,parents'action doesn't help their children.Today, everyone needs to independence,the society needs people can do things by themselves.Furthermore,as time goes by,people can'thelp their children all the time,their will died some day in the future.so we must help children independent. What can we do for children,helping them independent?First,give them some tasks when they are young,such as washing their cloches and cleaning their room.When they are older,can ask them to buy something in the supermarket. In this way,it can help children independent.