若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用,文章会更棒;文中词汇表达丰富度不足,一些学术词汇的使用也比较灵活;过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当,缺少组织,可适当增加连接词的使用;请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Hello,i'm your tour guide.Welcome to the most beauty garden in the whole world,Chengdu.Everyone could have a happy day in Chengdu. These is our schedule for the day.First,we will visit the biggist single building in the world,Global Center.It is consisted of shopping center,hotel,water pool.People can go shopping in there and eat dinner in there,even sleep in there.Second,we will go to Chunxi Road,the oldest road in Chengdu.And then we will go to Tianfu Square,the center of Chengdu.Chengdu is a city built surrounding Tianfu Square.
人气:72发布:2013-06-17
人气:131发布:2015-02-15
人气:68发布:2014-04-10