复杂句使用不错,句法规范;行文稍欠流畅,应适当增加连接词的使用;文中词汇表达较为丰富准确,但存在单词拼写错误;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
Hefei,Anhui Province,my home town,is the one of the biggest city in China,which is famous for Bao Gong,Zhou Yu and stuff like that.Hefei is the important traffic center,lying in the middle of China. If my friend from foreignland are about to give a sightseeing to Hefei,there is no doubt that I will show him or her around the Xiaoyao Jin,which is a famous and ancient interestingplace in Hefei,nearly completed a hundred years ago.Indeed,it is just a place for residents to loosen up or get relaxed,because there are a stuff of fancilities for entertainment.What's more,the fresh air and friendly environmently sightseeing can cultivate your taste and temprement.Not only people can you meet,but also birds or spring can appeal to you. All in all,Xiaoyao Jin is so attractive and so is Hefei.Welcome to Hefei and it will be my pleasure to give you a guidance.