作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用;文章能较灵活地使用部分学术词汇,但词汇表达丰富度不足;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Wangshan,a 16-year-old girl,come from Beijing Yangguang Middle School.She like listening and sing music and taking photos very much.Also,she is good at communicating with other persons and she love helping everyone.She love nature ang peace.And her perpose of taking part of camping is knowing more friend and learn about other country"s culture.