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3． 开头语已为你写好。
文中应增加一些长难句的使用，会为文章添彩；作者词汇基础不错，同时请加强单词拼写的检查；结构不严谨，几乎没有使用衔接词，上下文衔接欠流畅。
I finished work on time recently. Because boss has returned home with his family, for his fathers' birthday. And I could do what I want to do, such as watching series movies called The vampire, or studying English. I noticed that I will improve a little or learn something when I am in WEB. For instance, I wrote a composition to Georgia yesterday. When I arrived there and found the patry was been holding. And Georgia was one ofmoderatorhers. So I was doing couseware and waiting for her. As the party was end,she left WEB. When I was trying to return home, Peter ran into couseware lab to teach one of students, so I was brave to ask him some question(ectually someone talked with him, and I was mad that I was shyto talk with him). After a small conversation, I took the composition and asked him to help revise. Shorter afterwards, he not only correct it but also read to me whether it had been revised. I was so exctied on the way.this was the first time to have an amzing talking with foreigner, and I realized I am not a idiot. by the time, I was sadness the couseware, because I accidently to turn the computer off and it did not keep the record what I have done. What a wonderful day!
