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文中词汇使用较丰富恰当，但学术词汇表达还需要很大提升；作者句法知识很棒，适当增加从句的使用，会取得更不错的成绩；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Nowadays,can we find a person who has not experienced online shopping? Online shopping is coming into fashion inmost of the cities due to the rapid development of internet technology. Online shopping is welcomed by most people due to various reasons. From the perspective of consumer,it can save some time for people who don't have much spare time. Just click the mouse,they can get whatever they want while staying at home. For the retailers,it can cut some costs for those who don't have much circulating funds. They don't have to rent a house and spend money on employees compared with the traditional trade mode. However,there are still some defects in online shopping. First,face to face deal makes online shopping less reliable and trustworthy. Second,people will lose the fun of bargain. It is undeniable that shopping on the internet has become an irresistible trend in modern society. It's of great urgency that we need to regulate the relative laws in accordance with the rapid growth of online shopping. Only in this way can we enjoy the pleasure and convenience of online shopping without the concern of being treated.
