2012年12月1日雅思大作文真题:the Computerized Technologies

语句间的衔接成分用的不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；可增加从句和复杂句的使用；作者词汇基础扎实，拼写也很棒。

The rapid advancement of computerized technologies and the deepened division of labor have made it possible for increasing number of individuals to accomplish their daily routine at home. Yet whether this development could be a blessing for not only employees but also for employers and the whole society has evolved into a case that bothers businesses and governments worldwide. From my own perspective, I agree that telecommuting would collectively bring more benefits than harm to the general public. To start with, citizens’ time, particularly of those who live in a distant location from downtown area, can be saved and the depressing traffic congestion will be eased to a large extent, provided that most workers could perform their regular work at home (mostly online). Moreover, employees would feel more relaxed and clear-minded in a familiar surrounding, which might improve the quality and efficiency all together. By contrast, workers who are reluctant to stay in the office merely try all sorts of maneuvers to kill time until 5pm. On top of that, for certain companies like Google and Microsoft, granting employees the priority to work at home is a highly advisable approach to decline the expenditure on rent and furniture, which could eventually constitute a large proportion of their overall budget. Admittedly, a series of resulting drawbacks would also be brought with the widespread of telecommuters. The primary one, undoubtedly, should be the absence of teamwork, which is the key to success of majority of projects. In current society, not only businesses but also individual workers have been increasingly integrated with one another, and therefore separated employees can hardly communicate and coordinate with their colleagues in person. Aside from that, supervision would be confronted with various obstacles, and it is both immoral and illegal to install a surveillance camera up the roof of employees’ home. In a nutshell, even though permitting staff to work at home will inevitably face the challenges from supervision and teamwork, I am still convinced that teleworking, from an enlightened standpoint, should be encouraged publicly.