从句数量过少;过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当,缺少组织,可适当增加连接词的使用;文章用词太过单一,且单词拼写错误较多;请注意分段。
I have a good friend. Her name is Zhaolin. Her the telephone number is four four five eix nie ten. She ten years old. Her eyes is big. She has a small nose and a small mouth. Her hair is long. She has a big family! We ofen help each other !