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从句偏少，建议平时练习中加大单词的记忆；文中有几处拼写错误，应增加学术词汇的使用；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；请注意分段。
my home is very grand.there are many people in my home.they are in different taste of people.it is large than other family.we enjoyed ourselves very much .we have a good time when we are toghter last week, my chinese friend mia took me to the ancestral temple of the chen family. it was lay on the seventh zhongshan road. mia told me, the temple had 116 years' history; the chen supported money to build it for the students. i was attracted by the beautiful ornamengts on the wall there! they are colourful, lively, and also mysterious, it must be a rarely article which is so grand! besides, it showed feelings of native soil.then we went to sun yat-sen memorial hall. inside there is a picture gallery, an exhibition of dr. sun's life, and a large hall that may be used as a theater, concert, or meeting hall. do you know sun yat-sen? he founded the first republic in china in 1911 after many years' fighting. he is a important person for the past china.
