文章词汇表达要更加熟练,希望能更多使用一些学术词汇;可适当增加长句和复杂句的使用;恰当的使用了过渡词和衔接词,衔接手法做的很棒;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;请注意分段。
If my best friend Damon will visits my hometown who is my friend come from Canada. I should take her to Guangzhou Tower which is best of place in my horizon. Maybe he thinks that that have a number of commons. No one doubt is similar view like skyscraper in urban city.Nevertheless when you standing in Guangzhou Tower that he can be easy to realized about Guangzhou culture which would like a gorgeous view in your heart.