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作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇，建议要多使用学术词汇；文章结构不错，使用了丰富的衔接词和过渡词；若增加一些从句的使用，文章会取得更好的成绩。
Nowadays,with the development of society,most people is surrounded by a variety of entertainment faculties and information.Many people spend most of their times on these recreations,so that now less and less people can understand the mean of their lives. Why now so many people are confused?I think the reason in complexing but I can still list the point.Firstly,with the improvement of living levels,people's lives is fulled of recreate forms that's result in many people prefer playing games to reading,which leads to people's spirit world is more and more vanity.Secondly,now the socitey is filled with lies and dangers,a lot of people are too scared to help and care others.As a result of that,many kindness people are losing theri ways in the indifferent society. According to that,I think all of us should devote ourselves to the meaningful pursues in the limited time.In other words,we should do the greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.I believe our lives will be wonderful if we can do that.
