作者词汇表达丰富度要继续提升,学术词汇使用过少;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;衔接成分很少出现,文章结构欠严谨;连词使用偏少;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
July 23th 2008 Dear sir/madam, My name is Li Ming, one male student of University of Namorl Beijing. I have 25 age year. I am good at English and like sport, friendly and love help other people. I wish that I could take a volunteer for this Olympic, I would contribute to this meeting. Thank you for your consideration to me, My move mobiles number is 13611937995 and my email is liming@yahoo.com. Best wishes! Li Ming