可适当增加从句的使用;作者能词汇表达较准确熟练,但请仔细检查词汇的拼写;衔接成分很少出现,文章结构欠严谨;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;连词使用偏少;可以适当增加副词的使用。
From: Tomsmith@hotmail.com To: John@163.com Date: June 10th. Dear Mr. John Driscoll, I'm the general manager of Sales Department in Fox Electronic Compony. I'm honored on behalf of our compony to inform you that our meeting is shceduled in June 20th. The lanuch date of the new product and advertsing compaign will be discussed then. Please let me know if this would be convenient for you or contact me to offer your arrangement. Wish to set up a long-term collaberation relationship with you. Best Regards, Tom Smith