可适当增加从句的使用;作者词汇表达比较多样,也能较好的使用一些学术词汇;文章结构欠严谨,基本没有衔接成分;连词使用偏少;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
From: Tomsmith@hotmail.com To: John@163.com Date: June 10th. Dear Mr. John Driscoll, I'm the general manager of Sales Department in Fox Electronic Compony. I'm honored on behalf of our compony to inform you that our meeting is scheduled in June 20th. The launch date of the new product and advertising compaign will be discussed then. Please let me know if this would be convenient for you or contact me to offer your arrangement. We are looking forward to setting up a long-term collaboration relationship with you. Best Regards, Tom Smith